In No Particular Order
Cheesie Goodness

1. What's the cleverest word play you've read or made up?
This is so stupid... anyway... last semester when I was taking Microbiology we were taught how to describe what broth (bacteria + a growing medium in a test tube) looked like. We had to describe the pellicle, sediment and any floaty stuff which I have already forgotten the technical name for. Anyway, the teacher was near my desk as I was having trouble "seeing" the sediment in my test tube - he told me to keep looking and gave me some tips. I kept trying to see something, anything, to no avail. Finally, he came over and said "oh, wow, that is just water, i gave you the wrong tube. Sorry about that!"... I replied, "My sediments, exactly". Stupid.

2. What's the most outrageous cover story you've ever tried to make up?
Definately the time I lied and said I had a tooth pulled and couldn't go on a date with a guy I didn't like. Unfortunately, he was related to my dentist.

3. Did it work?
Obviously not. He got the point, though.

4. Favorite line from a song? (Eighteen double oh and a table dance).
"Did you know when you go it's the perfect ending to the bad day, i was just beginning" From My Favorite Mistake. I don't know why it is my favorite, but it rings through my head quite often.

5. What has been your favorite Olympic moment?
Paul Hamm's comeback to win the gold in the men's all around.

6. What sport shouldn't be in the Olympics?
I'm going to have to concur with Johnny on the speed walking.

7. What sport should be in the Olympics?

8. What's wrong with the Olympics?
I mostly watched gymnastics, so I'm going to have to go with judging.

Are you still here? Go get your own Cheddar-X!

Arnold + cliches + movie quotes =

me wanting to vomit.

I tried to watch. I thought maybe I wanted to be informed or know what the "other side" is up to. Really though, it was more like a bad car wreck - I couldn't stop watching, even though it was gross. That "True Lies" crack at the beginning of his speech was nothing besides petty and childish. Remember, though, he is living every "immigrant's dream". Wake-up, Arnie!

Next, naming America as the inspiration for the teardown of the Berlin Wall, Tiananmen Squqre and Nelson Mandela's electoral victory - please.

I don't talk politics with friends and rarely on my blog, so I'm going to shut it up now.

But above all else, remember, "Don't be economic girlie men.''

Excuse me while I go expel the contents of my stomach.


I am not handling things very well right now. For the sake of simplicity, I shall make a bulleted list of all of the things that are causing my stress levels to elevate towards the heavens.

  • My mother is having a mid-life crisis and has chosen to stick me directly in the middle of it. She can speak of nothing besides how much she hates her job and how great the sex is with her new boyfriend (coming only about 2 months after my parents divorce). She has given up on taking my brothers to school, leaving me responsible to do so, and although I don't mind, I am missing 45 minutes of sleep that I could really use. I have also completely taken over making all of their meals, cleaning up after them and delegating chores. I'm their sister, not their mother and they are going to end up hating me for this.
  • My best friend, Krista, has been hired at my hospital to take half of my shifts since I can not work full time due to school. She is training on day shift and she has informed everyone, including my boss, that she is: more intelligent than I, more organized and will quickly excel and exceed me in my position. I have 2 years of experience here and she has never held down a job for more than 3 months. You do the math while I kick her in the head for being a backstabbing bitch. I am looking for new employment.
  • My sister is in her first year of college and has chosen to go into Early Childhood Development. She hates the teacher who teaches those classes so she dropped them all. She just wants to be "a housewife and a mother". I am totally disappointed and have been urging her with everything I have to pick up some additional classes and at least get an associates degree in general studies. She is mad at me for not respecting her choices.
  • School is insane. I expected level one nursing to be difficult, but I did not expect it to be a disorganized clusterfuck. Even on the weekends my instructors are emailing assignments. They change the class times all the time as if we don't really have any other priorities in our lives. The girl that sits next to me was worried about a drug test because she "smokes a little pot". That angers me.
  • I spend a minimum of three hours per day on school stuff and I am a fast reader. I do not mind the work, but if the load increases any more I may have to stab myself in the eye.
  • I am $300 short for book money and am missing three books that are of moderate importantce. I'm working 20 hours per week since my boss decided to give the extra shifts available on the weekends to Krista. Thanks.
  • Due to stress, I have been clenching my jaw and griding my teeth at night. This, combined with a lower wisdom tooth coming in is causing some great pain in my mouth. I really need to get to the dentist, but who can afford that on this income?

Argh! I'm really not being a whiny brat, I handle stress pretty well normally. None of these things are absolutely horrible or anything, but all of them combined is making me a little tense. I know that compared to some of you, I have it pretty easy, but I tend to lead a very laid back lifestyle. I try not to let things bother me and at this point, I'm way past "bothered".

I'm glad that the weekend is here and I look forward to next week being much better.

Not Dead...

...just really busy. School started last week and it's much more demanding than I could have imagined.

A proper post coming late tomorrow evening.

Insomnia, The Bitch

In accordance with Gratuitous Swearing Week, please allow me to share how I feel about how I've been feeling for the last week.

I can't fucking sleep at night. I lie in bed with the lights off, the fan on, lavender scents floating through the air and the room nice and cool. The shit just doesn't work. I'm not even thinking about crap - you know, the racing thoughts? Yeah, no - I don't have that. I just can't fucking sleep.

So, I turn on the television to find nothing but shitty infomercials and dumbass shows about shit I don't give a shit about. I find the most boring things to watch, hoping that I'll be bored into sleeping. No. That doesn't work either.

I think it's bullshit. Ma says I'm still suffering from jet lag - whatever, it has been a week. I'm not nervous about school, work is fine. I'm a little irritated with my mother for reasons that I have not yet disclosed in this blog - she is being a serious ass-face about things that don't require the level of bitchiness that she is exerting. Other than that, I'm fine, I feel fine. I wish I were one of those productive insomniacs. Heh.

Now, it is nearly four-thirty in the morning and I need to be up by eight to go deal with the slutbags from the financial aid department at my college - that's just lovely.

Esta vida es un asco.

Life's Scripts

I get tired of people talking to me sometimes. I'd prefer someone not to say anything at all if they are going to say, "Hi, how are you?". I am under the impression that most people do not care "how I am", aside from a few close loved ones. So, why ask? It isn't polite, it's boring.

I don't ask, usually, I try to come up with something at least a little better. If I've only met the person briefly before I remind them of who I am and attempt to ask them about something I learned about them from our previous meeting, such as their job, children, whatever - anything, ANYTHING but "how are you?" I will ask that question if I honestly want to know the answer - but that is rare in passing crowd conversation.

How do we get in such a rut with conversation? I'm not sure about you, but I don't want to leave someone with a first impression of me that will assure them that I am the same as every other 20 something they've ever met.

But, when I do get asked that bold, interesting question of "how are you?" - I at least try to come up with something slightly creative as an answer. It's obviously difficult because we rarely really mean what we say. If I'm having a nervous breakdown inside, I am hardly going to say, "I feel like my brain is going to implode, and you?" - and send someone running for the straightjackets. So, we all lie, don't we? How many times have you said things like, "fine, thanks" or "good, and you?" when you weren't fine and you weren't good - you were just being polite and following the script passed down to you for gazillions of years.

Today, someone asked how I was.

I said, "I'm actually absolutely wonderful, thank you."

And I meant it.

Cheddar Time!

So, I've skipped a few Cheddar-X posts. Not because I didn't like them, only because I am lazy and couldn't be bothered with the required thinking that Cheddaring involves. But, here we are again with a new and different Cheddar.

Would you rather:Sing country songs buck naked to the PTA or come across your "art" photos on a porn site?

Definately the art on the porn site. At least then the chances of someone I actually know seeing it would be a little more slim.

Have a biker gang for neighbors or five chatty Chihuahuas within barking distance?

Such a no-brainer for me. I happen to like bikers and hate yippy dogs.

Be addicted to sniffing modeling glue or be addicted to huffing butane from Bic lighters?

I'm getting the giggles, here. I'm guessing the lighters might be cheaper in the long run. Of course, I'm not sure how to huff anything - I guess I would have to learn.

Lick a 9 volt battery or lick the bottom of your foot?

Licking a 9 volt battery is awesome.

Ketchup soup or mustard soup?

Mustard, hands down.

Live in a great house in a place you don't like or a bad house in a place you love?

I would rather have the bad house in the place I love. Most bad houses have potential - most places you hate do not.

Spend a weekend at a spa or spend a weekend camping?

This is a tough one. I love the outdoors, I love camping - but I also love being pampered. I'm going to go with the camping since the weather has cooled off here and it is just putting me camping mode.

1. What would you host a cable tv program about?

Home pedicures.

2. What or who do you lust for?

Angelina Jolie and fresh papaya.

3. You've got a spare $5,000, what do you do with it?

I'm extremely upset with my college's financial aid department at this moment, so I would likely take it and shove it up their as-- oh, wait, I would use it for my tuition and books. It would also be rather tempting to save until my next break and use it for a trip to somewhere.

4. How often do you see your family?

I see my biological mother and two half brothers almost daily, my ex-step-father one a week, my biological father and his girlfriend about twice a month, my half sister once a week, my half brother 3 times a year. I see my grandparents 4 or 5 times a year.

I think I like this Cheddar. Want your own? Clickey, Clickey

Vaca Part II

I think I'm supposed to be on Sunday - yes.

Sunday I woke up and ran to the mirror. I was quite sure that a small furry animal had crawled into my mouth and died. It was not so. Dry heat mixed with extreme amounts of alcohol had left me quite dehydrated. As I stood there I realized that I also had a pounding headache reminding me of how much fun I'd had the night before. It was close to check out time so I spent the next hour packing 2 or 3 items and then lying back on the bed. It was rough.

The other bridesmaid headed over to Jamba Juice and got me a citrusy something, which made me feel much better. I also was fortunate enough to ride in the best man's mustang to Norco - with the top down. Chris, the best man, he loves to talk and I really like to listen, especially about things I don't already know. So, it was like having my own personal tour guide from Newport Beach to Norco. Norco is a strange town. It's name derives from "North Corona", with Corona being the town just to the south. Anyway, Norco is an old horse town and in the residential areas, instead of sidewalks, there are horsewalks or whatever you call them. We were staying with a very gracious couple who lived in a five bedroom house with a pool and three horses. I might have moved in if they would have let me. I ate lunch and headed inside for a nap. The bride's sister-in-law woke me when Michael arrived and I went out to speak with him a bit. He only really came by to tell me good-bye and I was happy that he did. When he left I put on my suit and swam and lounged by the pool for the rest of the day. I could really make a living doing that.

After dinner I sat outside and talked with Ed, the owner of the house. We engaged in a political debate. It was HORRID. He is a very conservative republican - I am so far from either. So, he basically kept telling me that I was wrong and that I didn't understand what he was talking about because I am a WOMAN. Ugh. I tried to be diplomatic, but really, he was just pissing me off by treating my like I was an inferior idiot. I headed to bed.

We woke at 3am to head to LAX. Saving $50 on my ticket was so not worth the nightmare that was LAX. We were lost after exiting the freeway due to all lanes being closed - we ended up in Compton. From what I understand, Compton is not a good place to be. But, we finally made it to the airport. The rest of my group missed their flight and I only made it because I used sex appeal and money to bribe a skycap into taking me to the front of check-in and security. I'm not proud of that, at all - but I was glad to be on that plane.

I arrived in St. Louis on time, with both bags, miraculously and headed home. That was Monday. It is now Wednesday and I am starting to feel like a human being again.

I loved it there, though. I am planning another trip in December, just to make sure it wasn't an illusion.

Bittersweet Homecoming

I get homesick really easily. It isn't really that I miss anyone from home, I just miss the comforts of home. I quickly tire of living out of suitcases, overtaking someone's guest room or having to make sure I'm awake by the time the maid service comes to straighten my hotel room.

This was the first time I've gone anywhere and was actually sad to come home. I had more fun than should be legal and I felt like I belonged there. Everything came easily to me, I was comfortable. I had the best time! Anyway, on to the stories.

I arrived Thursday afternoon at Ontario Airport and met up with the other bridesmaid and her boyfriend. We were picked up by the rest of the "family" and headed back to the home of the future bride and groom. They live in Hesperia which is, if I understood correctly, in the mountains/desert. I believe the elevation was about 3,000 ft and the smog wasn't as bad as I had expected. Truthfully, the landscape looked very similar to that of New Mexico and Mexico. Lots of dirt, little grass and extremely dry. The weather in the mountains was ideal. It was hot, but there was no humidity and a constant breeze. We spent a lot of time outside and I spent a lot of time drinking beer. I like beer. We had a cookout that night and I had a chance to talk with the other bridesmaid, Jenny and her boyfriend, Andy, as well as the bride's brother and his wife. The five of us got along famously for the remainder of our time there. Andy likes to make people laugh and I do as well - although I usually don't enjoy sharing the "spotlight" with anyone, we played off of each other so well and had everyone in giggles most of the time.

On Friday we woke early and the girls headed to a manicure/pedicure boutique. I had the spa pedicure, which meant that I got to sit in a huge massage chair and have my toes done. I was in heaven. I also got an american manicure (like a french one, only with natural white instead of french white on the tips), which I ruined - more on that later.

After we were done being pampered we checked into our hotel at Newport Beach and changed clothes to head to the ocean. At this point, we were beginning to learn that it takes over an hour to get everyone ready to go somewhere. We had a total of 14 people running around with us and everytime we went somewhere we had to stand around and argue about who was driving, who was riding in which vehicle and over things that don't matter in general. So, Jenny and I decided we were sick of it and that we were going to the beach. She tracked down the driver of the hotel shuttle to take us and we were just about to pull off when the bride came running up, clearly upset, wishing to take us to the beach herself. So, we reluctantly climbed out of the shuttle and proceeded to do the standard arguing before departing. Then, we got lost. I mean, we are in Newport Beach, how hard can it be to find the ocean?! Finally, Jenny convinced her to pull over and get directions and we made it. I love the beach area in Newport, it seems so classic to me, very clean and not at all over-crowded. After playing there for awhile we headed back to the hotel and I was introduced to the groom's brother, Michael. Mmm. Right, anyway, we went to dinner at an excellent seafood place, The Rockin' Baja Lobster Grill (or something similar anyway) where I consumed a pound of crab legs in record time. Unfortunately, I was also consuming large fishbowls of beer and managed to forget to be careful and ruined my manicure. The crablegs had some kind of seasoning on them which adhered to my nails, leaving me with orange, ugly fingernails. Eww. We took a walk on the pier next and then headed back to the hotel for general goofing off and playing Catchphrase.

Saturday was the wedding day and I slept until almost noon. My body was so tired from traveling and the fact that I pulled a night shift the night before I left, traveled all day, and slept on the couch for four hours the next night at the bride's house. We walked around the hotel and grabbed some lunch and a Jamba Juice and then went to go get lovely for the wedding.

Her wedding was on a boat called the Angela Louise. The boat cruised around the harbor during the wedding and reception. It was magnificent. I spent a lot of time with Michael and I started to notice that maybe my slight crush wasn't one sided. When it was time to leave he saw to it that I made it back to the hotel safely and then he and I went for more alcohol. Just what we all needed, I'm quite sure. Back in my hotel room, everyone hung out and had fun. Michael ended up asking to stay in my room and I didn't object. He is a nice guy and let's all face it - I was dying for some affection. He was very sweet to me and I miss him already. I didn't even exchange phone numbers with him. He lives in Phoenix - I don't. If something is meant to happen, I'll run in to him at a later point in my life. I don't mind if he contacts me, of course, but I don't see any need to really.

I have to finish the rest of the trip in the next post - my poor fingers are tired of typing and my eyes are telling me to get my rump into bed.

Chubby Cheek Baby Cuteness

All the juicy details from my trip are coming soon, but I finally managed to get some pictures of Halie, my godchild, uploaded. I think she is pretty much adorable and precious and I can't get enough of her - ever. She is almost 3 months old now and I swear she grew tons while I was gone.

Check out those chubby cheeks!

That's her with Krista, her mommy just taken today. Shame on me - i've not had a photo taken with her yet. We didn't realize it but I guess I'm always behind the camera.

Free at last!

Just a quick note to announce the beginning of my vacation. I'm off to St. Louis in a few hours to spend the day shopping and going to Grant's Farm. Thursday morning, very early, I'll be departing St. Louis on a plane headed for Los Angeles. I have a lifelong friend who has bestowed me with the honor of being a bridesmaid in her wedding on Saturday. While it doesn't look to be extremely relaxing, I still hope to have fun and come back with a better attitude towards my job, especially.

I am vowing to be internet free the entire time (we shall see if I actually live up to that) so no comments or emails from me until Monday when I return. I hope to have stories and photos to share at that time as well.

hey, you

if i could find myself in your arms for just a moment
maybe i would feel safe
and maybe my dreams wouldn't be empty

On The Bookshelf

Heavier Than Heaven by Charles R. Cross

The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown

East Of Eden by John Steinbeck

On The Tube

Nothing this season, check back later!


Echo, Incubus

Possession, Sarah Mclachlan

Fell In Love With A Boy, Joss Stone

October, Jessica Weiser

So Far Away, StainD

The Sickness, Disturbed

Going Under, Evanescence

Mexico, Incubus

The Reason, Hoobastank

100 minus 90 things:

confused 20-something

nursing student

pediatric ICU nurse wannabe

respiratory therapy tech

pop-music hater

i forgot how to love boys

i want to marry a guitar player

should have been a podiatrist

i am horrible at money management

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